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The "Yes" In My Heart

“After all the work put in, it’s really such a short amount of time we spend on the stage.” David said this as we were on our way home last weekend from a conference. It’s only really 45 mins in all. The prep work though is immeasurable. From the chart making, to the emails to team members, practices, prayers, time in the car, setting up, tearing down, & everything in between. All of that is really the bulk of what makes up doing what we do, not the time on the stage.. But for me, it’s the time I spend in the field out behind my house lifting my hands in praise worshipping Jesus as the cows stare at me like I’ve lost my mind. The moments I’ve opened my Bible and asked God to fill me with His words so when I speak I do it with authority.

The conversations with my husband about leadership and the church and the hearts of God’s people. The prayers for my band mates as we choose who to take with us and ask God to prepare their hearts. The podcasts I listen to so I can expand my mind and heart, the worship gatherings I watch on YouTube and turn up so loud the walls shake as I dance, weep, and shout in the middle of my living room. The things I choose not to do, the sacrifices no one sees, the times I’ve stepped out in faith, the times I’ve hurt so bad I thought I’d die, the mistakes, the grace, the goodness of God. The comfort of Jesus in the midst of it all. I always say we stand and sing from our testimonies. My life is just the repeated yes. Over and over again, even when it didn’t make sense, or I don’t know for sure if it will work out. Yes, God. I don’t know what’s next, but I do know there’s a “yes” in my heart for You. You have made me a worshipper, Your servant. So even if the moments of standing before Your people are quick and short lived, I am always standing before You, and if the invitation to say “yes” to You is extended to others through my songs then my work is complete. You have always been so good to me. I am so thankful I get to spend that 45 mins doing what I love and most of all that it fulfills a part of me that nothing else can fulfill. I get to be a part of Your plan. I get to point people to You. That’s worth every second no matter how many. (Photo by Jesse Phillips)

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